Saturday, December 31, 2016

This Is Us ~ 2016 Christmas/Year End Poem


This Is Us ~ 2016

January found us viewing the screen
A Star Wars chapter, and my own video scene.
I recorded my testimony, A Sojourner’s story,
To encourage the faithful, all for His Glory.

https://vimeo.com/144682863?ref=fb-share

A billion dollar winner chosen in our town!
It wasn’t us, though riches abound.
Thirty-nine years married, dinner we ate
At a new fancy place we thought great.



 An Eagle flew and Major Tom lost control;
Oh those songs of harmony, we know.
My own song of Amazing Grace
Continues to unfold at Wednesday’s writing place.






On Valentine’s Day I wrote a random post
A message to Timmy, I miss him the most…
But You, God, gave me messages so clear,
A day I’ll remember of hearts and angels near.



The one white rose blooms again on the day
We mark 9 years of Tim’s journey away.
March moves in and spring is planted,
Basketball games, local champions granted.


Mid month March found me quite ill.
Bronchitis kicked me hard against my will.
Easter and hope arose in the dawn
As Grandpa’s tulips poke up from the lawn.

A movie, “Miracles from Heaven” took in
With two favorite friends, a faithful win.
After the show, a hydrangea purchased,
Butterfly photo, my own miracle resurgence.






April comes quickly as I prepare the garden;
A whimsical birdbath tweets for a remodelin’.
Getting the paints and brush supply,
Spring Break finds me brighting with my artistic eye.


We say Good-bye to a Laker legend;
Ted keeps cooking, his favorite regimen.
Turning 60, he made the mark,
Off we headed to our favorite Disney Park.








Purple rain fell from the sky; the world grieves
But much closer to our hearts and home, a young man leaves
A crown of glory is your remembrance for us.
We know you’re with Jesus, Ryan, in Him we’ll trust.

May brings my birthday, 62…no fear,
But surreal this number, my Father’s last year.
Ted visits the ortho doc hopeful for a plan...
It will be more complicated, wobbling at each stand.

The Boys in Blue are giving us cheer;
Wrapping up a new assignment in a special class this year.
My ministries a blessing, filled me with purpose;
Spent a day at a retreat, planting deeper than the surface.



My garden in blooming, added a new raised site,
For herbs and a trellis, flavor and height.
Season 7 of my Writers’ group ended in celebration,
We now know “who done it,” in our mystery writers’ creation.





School season ended with retirements and swelter;
June 7th we voted in the Presidential primary banter.
Attended a concert and went to the place
Where everyone’s a kid and music makes our pace.





Father’s Day comes and he wants a pie,
Triple berry it is, and Heaven gives a sigh.
Summer is here and my plans are to write,
Finish the book where the end is in sight.



Reunions are planned with high school friends;
I’ve planted those flowers the butterfly recommends.
Ted visits the doc, hoping for news,
But seems his kidneys have the “compromised blues.”







Writing resumes as I come close to complete,
July gathers neighbors to celebrate at Freedom’s Feet. 
The news is so tragic, can hardly comprehend...
Attend a Commencement where black bands descend.



Set the date for the upcoming walk,
And You Lord, I know are my steady Rock.
Reminded of past successes and chronic diseased lives,
Honored to do this, for more kids to thrive.

August arrived and to the beach I do head
To spend the day, sand and sea we tread.
Here with a best friend, have prayed side by side.
Faithful is Your Love Lord, like the ocean’s tide.

Ted’s pain unbearable, he continues to persevere
Until the gout finds him down; not much I can do here.
Cherry juice and patience, Olympics distract.
A week off work until the swelling retracts.




A daytrip with another, my special friend, Mel
Finds us at a preserve where butterflies dwell
The docent, so nice, gave me the chance
To release my own Swallowtail, toward Heaven I glance.



A new school year approached in just a few days;
August brings the last words of “Amazing Grace Upon Grace.”
I wrote of remembrance, inspired by his friend,
And God moves to connect us by the Spirit He sends.



Ministries start back up, and my book is complete,
Overwhelmed by the process, so filled with the Sweet.
Purchased a resource, help to sort out the potential…
But relying on God’s Word for me is essential.



September’s end is a year long wait,
Our “Timmy weekend” planned, a desert escape.
Golfing and dining, we went to a zoo...
But Joshua Tree’s rocks—an inspirational view!









Corey fishes and dreams of the day
When his reel gets the big one, a lot he will say.
Wanting a new start, he leaves his job on a whim;
What can I say, but I always pray for him.



Fall is here and October brings to fruition
The NephCure Walk and fundraising donations.
This year’s efforts came at quite a surprise,
"Super Hero Status" put tears in my eyes.







A small family reunion, new twins to receive
But their great grandpa, my uncle, for him we did grieve.
I captured a picture of my cousins again,
Recreated a time, now and then. 


Jenny, Uncle Bruce, Michelle and Sean (my Uncle’s grandkids)


Michelle and Jenny 

Brooke and Brielle


















We A few more pics of people we love 
We treasure these friendships, some by blood. 

We may not see you often, no not quite enough

When we get together, the parting is tough. 

Angel and Ted 

John

Cindy, Malorie and Lauren 


Katie 
Cousins, my sister, center. 

My friend Eileen and family 


Al, Eileen, Linda, Danny, Norma, and Bobby

Now on to November, a month of gratitude
Election day chatter really became rude.
Can America be great again? For me it always is,
But this world’s a different place; evil surely lives.

Bombings and ambushes, airports—the police
Dallas, Orlando, Brussels and Nice.
Shootings and fires, earthquakes and floods
The world is smaller, hackers code in mud.

On to December where Hope abounds
Found in each ornament, candle and sound
The Light of the World renews something gone dim
If only we’d believe all year in Him…





His promises hold true, His love, Perfect, Divine
He died so we can live, no longer deaf nor blind.
Free from the strife, the anger, the guilt,
The burdens of life, the disappointment built.

How much better our days, our weeks, our year
If the Lord came first, we gave Him our fears.
I choose to surrender each day I’m granted
To look for His Grace, and see more where I am planted.

He has a perfect will,  for me and for you.
Lead us closer Lord, what you’ll have us do.
This Is Us Lord, we cannot thank you enough
For giving us Grace despite all our imperfect stuff.

P.S. Corey’s new job, install and sales
Security devices, no longer the nails.
Pray for success and a peace from within
For patience and perspective, a smiling grin.

The VanTilburgs
Ted, Coleene and Corey
*Timmy is always near.




Saturday, August 13, 2016

A Story of Metamorphosis



For three summers now, writing a memoir called "Grace Upon Amazing Grace," filled my afternoons with memories, tears, music, amazement, God's Word, and a lot prayerful perseverance to complete this work of love. 

Well, I finished it on Wednesday night. Yeah God! Although I am working still a bit on the epilogue, that too, may change a bit as I ponder this whole process.

Someone said to me recently, there are three types of people: those who dream a dream or envision an idea, but when they start to dabble in it, or do a little research, or even receive some negativity or obstacles, they give up.

Next, is the person who completes the first part of a dream, like actually write the book, but they stop there because the process of editing, choosing a publisher, marketing, branding, etc., presents too much work, too much decision making, just too much additional effort. They are satisfied with writing the book...just for the sake of writing a book. It remains in a file on their computer.

The third person seems to know that writing a book is a whole lot more than plot developments,  effective dialogue, research, grammar, "...and they lived happily after ever."

It's a whole lot more than critiques, edits, harder edits and formatting...

It's the MORE they really dream of, the "contract," the reviews, the UPS truck driving up to their porch delivering the first 100 copies, the book signings, the movie deals.

WHAT!!!!!  ????

No movie deals! But yes, I do believe I am this third person, on the lower scale of things anyways. I dream now of moving forward to the next phase, slowly, considerably and wisely, with my eye on the Lord because none of this is about my glory, my fame, my agenda. I've told a very personal story because God told me to. He will continue to direct me.

                                                   ~~~


It started out as a tiny egg of an idea, hatching into a squirmy caterpillar , words crawling across the pages, a little at a time. Growing and being nurtured by the goodness of the Lord, the word count and chapters increasing. 


I could let the obstacles, the multiple distractions, the financial, the unbelievers and naysayers, those flying-monkey demons... try to get me down, pull me from my sustaining grace, but I won't because God gave me a passion and a talent, a suit of armour and maybe... just a little stubborn streak. 

Please view video:

https://www.facebook.com/coleene.vantilburg/videos/10208327414317594/


Blessed with many close friends, praying warriors, invested family, (hubby and son) who support this effort and contributed as well, I am not alone. They dream with me and I feel it, I appreciate it so much. Community and encouragement always sees a bigger picture and possibilities than doing stuff alone--truly a team effort!








I am held in his hand, as was Tim. He looked upon us both and said, 

 "Fly! I will give you grace!"  It was done at the cross. 




Metamorphosis takes us both on an eternal journey. Tim to heaven, me... taking longer to process this whole idea, accepting it and then looking up and trusting the Lord, to see His glory in it all.





Today Lord, I take what You have asked of me, to take my experiences and write a beautiful story of great loss, yes, but also one of greater grace and Hope. All 41 chapters and 54,000 words give or take... I hold it for a few seconds, giving thanks, rejoicing in this dual effort, seeng the beauty of it all, finished and tangible before my eyes. I am truly overwhelmed. 

Please view video:
  https://www.facebook.com/coleene.vantilburg/videos/10208335998252187/
Now I walk the road of faith, through the enclosures and obstacles that just might come before me, but You Lord will make a way. I continue to move  through and past grief and see the supernatural miracles You have made in the ashes, the lives you've allowed me to touch with our story already. Today and always, may I give thanksgiving to all those who made this journey God honoring, possible, and especially Lord, to You, the Giver of all things good.


Please view video:
https://www.facebook.com/coleene.vantilburg/videos/10208336075774125/

Please watch video:
https://www.facebook.com/coleene.vantilburg/videos/10208336138695698/

I release this memoir, "Grace Upon Amazing Grace," my work of love for my son, Timothy, and His memory. I release it for God's continued orchestration in and through the next level, the metamorphisis of words on a computer document, to words on pages of a book, published. I release it for the Glory of the great God I serve. May You, Lord, be lifted into hearts and hands of those who grieve, but also to those who long to know Your peace in the depths of their own heart-breaking circumstances. 

You can find Him in a book that IS readily available, His Holy Word. Open it, find that love in Christ's words through His life and purpose for you. 

Metamorphosis. Transformng Grace. Healer. Freedom Giver. Purpose Installer. Creator. Sovereign. To know that You are a God that can be seen, felt, heard and known in a personal way...and that above all else, you love us, you desire a relationship with us, and your promises hold true. Isn't that awesome!  




 I release you, ...not just on butterfly wings, but wings of eagles. May this honor you Lord and make hearts flutter with the possibilities of more grace, more of God, amazing hope. 

Please watch video: 
https://www.facebook.com/coleene.vantilburg/videos/10208336427382915/

His Word and presence in my life through the Holy Spirit gave me the strength and peace to rise above earthly circumstances, to write the words of the miraculous healing through grief, to believe in GREATER THINGS!  

Thank you to two special friends, moms who both know this same grief: Melody Chamorro, who also took the butterfly release videos and Eileen Morales, adopter of my memory butterfly I released. 







John 1: 1-5 "In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things came into being by Him, and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being. In Him was life, and the life was the light of man. And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it."


Romans 12:2 "And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is that which is good and acceptable and perfect." 

Coleene VanTilburg 

Monday, June 13, 2016

Working Heart-ily



Vocation: Special Ed Collaborative Aide, Ayala High School, Chino Hills, CA.

It's been awhile since I've written a blog post here. Don't worry, I've had many "considerable thoughts." I've posted on my other blog, shared shorter contemplations on social media and maybe just been a little too busy these last 6 months.

Summer break is now upon me. I've considered what to do...no, it was never considered, it's more in the imperative! ---Rest, Refresh and WRITE!

Something to ponder...what are you doing this summer? 

Many photos within my phone take up needed space, as my device keeps telling me--it is feeling FULL. So, here's a photo-blog and hopefully, some inspiration for your own considerable thoughts.

The school library right at dawn. 


The school year started out with an unknown assignment as a one-on-one aide. I found myself placed with a student who never showed up until late October. By then, another position opened up in that same classroom. I applied and got the job. I now work with a teacher, several other support staff like myself, in a population of high schoolers with very special needs, one of which is communication. This environment has taught me a lot through observation, interaction and dialogue with the more experienced. I have fallen in love with the kids, esteem my co-workers and just truly look forward to going to work each day. Enjoying the culture of high school and all it entails--football games, rallies, plays, presentations, interactions and challenges, I am blessed to work at a great high school with wonderful people.

Have you considered the blessings your employment brings, other than paychecks?

Philippians 2: 1-3 If therefore there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. 


Cheering for our National Award-Winning band and color guard. 


Mascots, cheerleaders, teams and fans.

Are you part of a team?  What does that look like for you?  



Ephesians 4: 16 "...from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by that which every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love." 


Dancing at the Special Ed Prom


Inclusion
Student "K" with our Student Body VP, Prom Fashion Show 

One of our students  modeling with one of our gen. ed. sudents 




 He is 15 and a freshman this year. He has a thick head of dark wavy hair and a smile that lights up a room. He loves to watch things fall to the ground and cheers for himself as he goes on the lift of the bus. He has my heart.

Is there someone or something who just "has your heart?"

 A gathering spot for our Thursday outings, English Springs Park gets us outdoors and enjoying the lake and its many attractions. We went a few times this year. It's a great place to take pictures, move to the music you create, walk, build strength, enjoy nature and swing your feet to touch the clouds.














Be free today. Be creative.  Reach your hands and feet to the sky. 


Psalm 36:5 "Thy lovingkindness, O Lord, extends to the heavens, Thy faithfulness reaches to the skies." 



Have you enjoyed a picnic lunch with some friends lately? 





Be observant. You don't want to miss the goose on the bathroom roof, right?  I think he--or she,  is the observant one. 

There is something to be said about order, balance, linear design, color and grouping like items.

Aesthetics. What does this communicate to you? 






Proverbs 22:29 Do you not see a man skilled in his work? He will stand before kings...






Our ASL kids (American Sign Language) include our class in their annual Variety Show. During 2nd period, they joined our kids in teaching them sign and to dance to the song, "I Like to Move It, Move It" from the Pixar movie, Madagascar.  Here are a few practice shots.



What "moves" you? 


Even one of our security guards got involved. 

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean onto your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."


Bowling, another popular activity of learning and playful competition became one of MY favorite outings. A strike never marked my scoreboard, but I can say I did achieve a couple of spares. The kids beat me--always by a long-shot!  But then again, I've never claimed to be the sporty-type, more the "stay-the-heck-away-from-a-ball" type.  There's always, always hope.






Have you tried anything new lately, challenged yourself or have something on your bucket list you're anxious to cross off---maybe sky diving?  


Christmas time. The beauty and message of love for all is so visual. Decorating the tree with snowflakes and giving our friend and school receptionist Mrs. Sue more reasons to smile; we delight in the Season of Sparkle and Light.






Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from D125
We're 6 months in. Consider your new year's resolution if you made one. Better yet, a new summertime goal. Whatever you choose to do, do it well and love one another in the process. 

God is good. Thanks for reading to the end!


Colossians 3:23 "Whatever you do , do your work heartily, as for the Lord, rather than for men."