About 15,000 words in, I've reached THE "chapter"--pathway where the trees breathe promise, where my mourning dawns anew, a chapter about butterfly angels on a mercy mission.
~View to Heaven~
I am just finishing the chapter when the hard-working man comes home, ready to set himself up to view another world on a not so flat screen and sit for the evening in a worn, so worn and tired love seat.
The blinds need adjusting; a filter to move the rays where they need to be, so we can see. He makes that move, ready to settle in.
Are we blind to what needs to be seen?
...And I am finishing up the chapter in the lowered light of the summer day, on the dining room table where the bread is served, where the cup is filled.
I'm back there, back to those days of the unrelenting heaves of grief. I'm back to the worn tennis shoes, the overplayed music and the dark park with its illuminated spider webs and shadowy trees in the pre-sun, star fading mourning of mornings.
The words finish up and I know this miracle once again, so wanting to capture the Truth of His Love, the end story that never ends. My heart is full and it feels glorious.
The living room is quiet as the hard-working man showers off the day's labor and I stretch up to saunter into life in the evening with him. Looking up, I see into the living space, the light filtering in a perspective unseen before.
I call out to the hard-working man, "come take a look at what is happening...hurry, before it changes."
The light is streaming in and hitting the wall across the room, the wall where a shelf holds the earthen vessel of ashes of our first born, the shelf that holds the sanctuary of his life.
The light dances, filtered through the jasmine vines outside and the blinds.
But I am not blind, for I see the trees, I see the butterflies, the sunflowers, the hummingbirds...
I see and know the Cross, where we can see the Light and Eternity coming together to make Perfect Sense.
I've seen the dead, and I've seen lives arise from the dead and live with a new found purpose.
I watch as the light shifts and paints on the canvas of my shelf-holding wall of love and I grab my cell phone.
I capture the lit up heart, a heart-light.
and wings of angels...
II Corinthians 3:6-7 the Apostle Paul tells us, "For God, who said, 'Light shall shine out of darkness,' is the One who has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in earthen vessels, that the surpassing greatness of the power may be of God and not from ourselves."
I am moved to tears of gratitude, of worship in that very moment.
The hard-working man comes down the stairs one painful step at a time and he sees my excitement over...light and shadows and walls, ...and says, "cool!"
The light, still moving, turns the corner and pierces the space where my thoughts come to rest , where my head bows frequently. It spills onto the chair I sit and read His Word, basking in His inspiration and promises throughout my day, where hearts in friendship bonded for eternity.
The light brings Love, an affirmation, for the Holy Spirit whispers to me that God is the Light of this moment, and He is the light for all moments.
What do we see in His light? A revelation of His eternal love for us, as unworthy as we are, He came to be our Light and remove all of our darkness.
I saw the Light, I accepted it into my own darkness and I know the Light is Good.
II Corinthians 4:18 ...While we look not at things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.
The sun set, yet the Light in my soul, in my son's soul shines for eternity, of that I am sure without any shifting shadow of doubt.
The hard-working man calls me the next day and wants to talk about the light, --and the wall and the shelf, as he is thinking about it in his hard-working days upon days.
God stirs up a heart to want more of Him and again I am warmed by a new sunrise.
My memoir continues...and I am in awe of His goodness to me, overwhelmed by the Light.
Psalm 27:1 The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?
John 8:12 Again therefore Jesus spoke to them, saying, "I am the light of the world; he who follows Me shall not walk in the darkness, but shall have the light of life."