Business
had been so slow yet still tedious, like trying to count the stars on a hot
summer night. My uncle kept watch over
the books, and he was to inform me that my humble establishment, my Inn, was just
breaking even. He suggested that I cut
back on the fine meals I try to serve my traveling guests, but that is actually
the part I enjoy the best; that will not be happening. I am located on the outskirts of Bethlehem, a
little far from the market place and even farther still from the
synagogue. My Inn has been in the family
since Grandfather inherited it from a debtor many years ago, but I have been
the sole proprietor now for the last thirty years or so. Grandfather still resides in the front room
where he sits and spies on visitors, commenting to himself about Samaritans and
idol worshippers. I have tried to
convince the old man that to be successful sometimes meant allowing all
travelers to have safe haven for a night or two. It didn't mean we would be taken in by their
godlessness; but that we would profit from their silver just as well. Grandfather remained the skeptic.
My
wife had died in childbirth, the baby as well.
I was thankful to have my grandfather to still look after and this
little place, for if that were not the case, I am sure I would have been swept
away by some caravan coming through town.
My own father had abandoned me many years ago seeking his own fortune. So I kept myself very busy, not thinking of
the love I had been denied most my whole life.
I did not have friends, rarely went to temple, and any time I spent away
from the Inn was when I was at the marketplace.
Here, I was the cook, greeter, housekeeper and nurse to my
grandfather. He was way into his
nineties now and I knew from his feebleness that soon I would have to say my
goodbyes---but that was not today.
Today, Grandfather would be reacquainting with old friends and telling
exaggerated stories. Many people would be arriving in town to register for the
census, to return to their town of birth.
It was just one more way Caesar would pillage more of our hard earned
money from us. Many places in town raised their price to take advantage of the
many returning families, but my wife always had such a rare honesty about her, especially
when it came to people. She would have
not approved and I respected her for that.
I liked to have a reputation for my fine meals, and there is where the
real money was to be made. Out back I
had a few animals in my two barns and a small grazing field. Here, you would get fresh vegetables from my
own garden and the kebabs of lamb were sweet and delicate. No one could resist once the smell of my
suppers wafted into the afternoon breezes.
It
was mid morning and I was in the smaller of my two stables checking on the hay
supply and the donkeys belonging to some of my borders. I even tried to make
the animals as comfortable as possible for some of them had made long journeys
as well. As I was busying myself with
the tasks, something very powerful came over me. This presence or feeling was
in my feet and my fingertips, yet it seemed to be centered in my heart...no my
soul...I was not fearful yet I knew I was not alone. I knew this was something good. Often when I wasn't keeping myself busy enough,
I thought about my wife and son and an achy loneliness would come upon me, a
feeling that would sometimes leave me prostrate, devastated to the core until
my knees buckled. Time had eased those
moments, or had I just replaced them with my obsessive and sometimes compulsive
ways of running this Inn? Well, only God
knew...God...now that was another mystery.
A loving God did not exactly exist in my world. God was a taker. What was I feeling, what is happening? Why all of a sudden were my thoughts on God,
an entity I really did not understand and chose to turn from. God was for the
old Jewish men, forever stuck in their “customs and traditions.”
As
I looked around the stable, there was this calm. Even the animals seemed mesmerized by this
same awareness I was feeling. Then I
watched as one by one each of the donkeys lowered himself to the ground. The newborn lamb carefully buckled her
already wobbly little legs and lay still, close to her mother who was not
making any “bleating” sound whatsoever. The cow stood still as if at attention,
not even a swish of her tail. I was
still not afraid but filled with an awe I could not understand, like I was
seeing something beautiful for the very first time and understanding what true
beauty was. Maybe I have died, yes, that must be it…the heart just gave out
here in the barn and…no not right now, I can’t leave the Inn right now… and
besides, this feels good. I am sure God would want to deal with my attitude
towards Him first… Peace…that is what I felt…real peace for the
first time in my life.
That
feeling that something was moving all around me continued. I felt something gently brush my face, and I
felt as if I was being held close, like a blanket of love. Suddenly, a pure white dove flew down from the
rafters above, swooping down and landing on a manger I had just filled with
fresh hay. That was it, the dove. It
must have spooked the animals a bit, that’s why they were acting so strange. I continued cleaning and raking the hay
evenly throughout the little stable but with a new refreshment, anticipating
tonight’s supper and chores.
That
evening as I checked in on all of my borders, satisfied that the Inn was full
and contemplating my busy morning preparing their meals, I heard a commotion
downstairs. “What was Grandfather doing up so late into the evening?” Rounding
the corner, I saw them; a young man with a woman, she looking somewhat in
distress. As I approached the couple I
could see that she was with child, and most possible at her given time. This couple needed a room and they needed one
tonight. Had they traveled from far to come here to Bethlehem? They told me
of their search in town, how there were no rooms, how they were sadly turned
away. Could I please help them out? The
door to my Inn was left ajar and I felt the evening winds push it open more.
The dove from this morning came flying through the opening, landing in the
niche behind me.
“I
only can provide you with my barn, but the hay is clean. I can bring you many blankets and provide
fresh water from my well.”
“Thank
you, kind sir. I am Joseph. We will settle here, in your barn, for Mary,
my wife…her time will soon be here.”
I
normally would have had mixed feelings, sad memories, but again, I was feeling
love, feeling purpose, feeling peace. I knew this couple was special somehow
and they would remember my hospitality.
I have got to get that dirty bird
out of here before it makes a mess on things…
I
led the couple to my barn, supplied them with fresh blankets and warmed water
from my fire stove and also some broth I had left over from supper time. Then I
left them to their privacy. As I lay
down myself that night, for the first time since my childhood, I asked God to
be with this young couple, and I felt that same peace.
A
beautiful baby boy was born that starry night in my barn. Somehow, I knew the experience I had had
earlier in the morning was connected and that God had heard my prayer. That peace was still there, holding its
ground on the slippery slope that once was my heart. My Grandfather’s last breaths would come that
early spring. I thought that would have
been my reason to be free, but I had already gained freedom the night that baby
was born in my stable. I learned about myself that night. It wasn’t my circumstances that were keeping
me obsessive and controlling. It wasn’t
that God had left me and gone somewhere else. The wall of bitterness was built
brick by brick by me, measured out in a perfect little circle around my
heart. I now know that when I stepped
into the stable that day, God met me there. He loosened up the mortar, but I
was the one who began to break apart the bricks. That baby changed my purpose. I continued to
be the best Inn proprietor I could be, staying instead of fleeing as I had
planned when Grandfather died. I was
able to say prayers with him and share a few temple gatherings which allowed
him to let go, have peace himself. He
could see that I had made peace with my real Father as well.
So
here I am, an old man myself now, still welcoming strangers who need rest,
nourishing hungry travelers and helping guide many along to their next journey.
So come, come feel the love born here.
It is for the entire world to share, and there will always be room for
you here, at the "Holiday Inn".
P.S. In further research, maybe our Inn Keeper's name was Thaddeus. Let's say " Pragmatus" was his middle name.
P.S. In further research, maybe our Inn Keeper's name was Thaddeus. Let's say " Pragmatus" was his middle name.
I like your POV! Great story!
ReplyDeleteLove this story.
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you and yours....Merry Christmas and a New Year filled with many blessings.
Teresa
Grammy Girlfriend http://teresa-grammygirlfriend.blogspot.com/
and
http://grammyababychangeseverything.blogspot.com