The Walk

Years of walking,
I've experienced humanity along this path
In gratitude and grief, longing and hoping,
knowing and obeying. 
I've never walked alone. Never.

The Father's plan all along, to do His Will

Today marked the start of a different trek,
One prepared from the very beginning
When the roads started to diverge.
Our efforts in place, the Hope for a cure,
A promise-- if one believes.

The Father's Plan all along, free will.

I knew this time, again, inevitable wounds.
Fear was not an option; it lies, deceives.
We met in the desert, those wilderness places.
It tried walking me to the edge.
I scoff at the ignorance for I see fear's fate.

My Father's Plan all along, forever to reign.

The weight held my feet
As if captured in an animal trap.
With each movement,
Especially the first open-eyed breath of morning light
I knew what must be done.

I'd walk with the burdens, all of them.
With the mocking--loud and the memory crown, piercing.
The silent ones hurt more, those who say but never do,
Who know, yet seek the temporary.
I walk for all. I love for all.

The Father's Plan all along, to give it all over to Him.

With bloodied feet numb
I shed grief's loss to gain righteousness.
Right thinking
Right doing
Right living under and through His Grace.

The Father's Plan all along, Resurrection.

The burden heavy in my human weakness
Yet there are those who help me carry
I arrive and Grace begins.
The promises of Hope plugs in to dance
To the music of victory, to the symphony of purpose.

The Father's plan all along, Merciful Redemption

The Campaign gathers the disciples,
The afflicted, the faithful,
Who walk with me. We grow together,
Learn and listen, pray, Oh, the prayers!
We remember the why and the who.

The Father's Plan all along, Greater Love.

Past, present and future converge.
Hope arises from the intersection,
Where arms stretch out, chests heave,
Legs strain to lift and open lungs
Until its done and history changes.

The Father's Plan all along, that He makes One Way.

Here, death is remembered
But life peers into Eternity
For all those who give of themselves,
Surrender their own will,
And I am redirected to Heaven.

The Father's Plan all along, Communion. 

Peace pours back down
And True Believers receive the gifts.
Hearts and feet walk side by side along the Way
Forever changed, forever comforted, forever loved,
Forever knowing,  His Plan all along...Glory

Considerably Yours,
Coleene VanTilburg

Catch and Release

A prodigal son, I soften my heart towards him more everyday, hoping and praying he softens his towards the things of God. Its not that he doesn't believe, its just, you know... the tug of the world, time, judgment, expectations and habits and...

He came to me this week, "Look mom, I'm in one of the pictures for the boat."  (not planned). 

He shows me on his phone the web site for his favorite charter fishing boat. I see two young kids showing off their "big" catches of Yellow tail. Behind them, sitting up top, a profile of my son looking out onto the water, getting a good perspective of the vast ocean. 

I ask him, "How come you aren't catching these big fellas?" 

"I don't know, someday I will." 

"You're a great fisherman," I say. 

"No mom," he says, "I'm an average fisherman. Did I tell you what happened?"

He proceeds to tell me a "fish story."

"I thought I had one, a big one. I fought my line to bring it up. I knew it wasn't something I just snagged, for I felt the 'tug-tug' on the line of something.  I reeled and pulled, and the deck hand came by my side in anticipation of the fish coming up. I pulled it in, disappointed to see a piece of fan coral and the rock it attached itself to, my line snagging it. Having a double line, there was a smaller fish attached to the first hook,  the one I felt tugging--pulling the "rock" in," my reel broke."

"You broke your reel?" I said in sympathy.

"Its OK. time for a new one anyway." 

~~~

Facebook Post: August 3, 2015, a few days after the above conversation. 

Drenched in sweat and quite overheated, she came in through the slider where the bottom of the stair beckoned her to sit. Kicking off her tennis shoes and socks, her feet throbbing as the perspiration ran into her eyes, stinging. She hit pause on her app and then hit finish, the music drowning in her sweaty ears. The song's lyrics repeated, "You're not finished with me yet..." "Oh, yes I am, she thought," as her walk recorded her stats. Just then, the orange butterfly that appears everyday flew by the slider to play in the garden right outside the door. Overwhelmed with sudden emotion brought on by shear heat exhaustion, she guzzled the last of her water and then proceeded up stairs to shower. Flipping the switch, the radio relayed encouragement. "Holy Spirit, You are welcome here, come flood this place and fill the atmosphere;" the song she loves, plays again. Suddenly she is reminded of a story told to her this week and also, something she's been praying for, for awhile. God connects the story in the way she understands, in words she needs to write and metaphors that hold weight. The emotion comes again, not from exhaustion, but from refreshment and encouragement, for the presence of the Holy Spirit moves in her atmosphere, revealing, reassuring, that despite all her sweat, her tears, her persistent knocking, God says, "I hear you and I am on my way."

We've all got our line hooked into a burden. We fight it with all our strength to get through it, to see the victory at the end. That is what we concentrate on. It zaps all our strength, expends our resources, disappointes those who wait with us. Yet, God has attached another line, a line of salvation baited with His Grace.  Did we forget about that one?  We can feel it, the tug-tug of His presence, letting us know He is there and we fight for everything else only to see our burden revealed, our weight of the world leaving us feeling defeated...just average, not worthy.

BUT GOD...He is tugging, linked through the hooks of prayers that cast their nets of hope into the sea of Your mercy, for the catching of the heart of our prodigals. You my son, are not just average. God guides you, seeing through the murky waters of doubt and looks upon you as divine, worthy, gifted and purposed for something amazing. 

I hear Him this morning tell me this, in the atmosphere of Holy Spirit conversations, fishing stories, walking feet and music. God reminds me of the conversation with my son and whispers to me, Yes, I am "tugging" on His heart, don't give up the fight. His "someday" is on deck and in My timing, I am preparing Him for bigger fish within the ocean of my grace. He continues to minister to me...

You see? He is not giving up, planning ahead for a new reel. I hear your prayers. He keeps going back to that same boat, the same spots, where My glory awaits him. Amazing Love, I promise to lure him gently back,  leaving the burdens behind on the bottom of the sandy sea. Keep directing Him to the spots where my Goodness waits. He is listening. 

Catch Him Lord, I pray. Release the burden, cut the line with so many barnacles of real or unreal obstacles,  and sink it. Allow Him to pull into Your Amazing Grace and Forgiveness. Help him to recognize Your tug from the tug of the world. Forever, In faith, I wait and anticipate the snap shot of victory. Amen 

(and as I type this last word, the song "Holy Spirit" comes on the radio once again).  God is so Good!