Silence Gifts

 

Inspired by the author, Ann Voscamp ( "A Thousand Gifts"), as well as Scripture, a friend from a group I fellowship with on a regular basis posts a prompt for every day in the month of November for us to reflect on this time of the year.

I Thessalonians 5:16-18 “ Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

Here is today's prompt: Name three gifts found in silence. The three things below were my response.

The flutter of a butterfly wing. The Holy Spirit’s direction. Silence in and of itself.

Thought I’d write more on my blog today. 

Have you ever heard it? A butterfly wing—the movement of air and delicate powdery wings overhead? When I sit alongside my butterfly garden, especially in the spring when there are frequently more than one butterfly, I can hear it. It is a sound of freedom, of rebirth, of meeting a goal, a purposeful fulfillment of the master plan in do diligence of a greater will, magnificent metamorphic creation! 

Sometimes the Holy Spirit’s voice is very obvious and loud and we celebrate in corporate worship and song. But, sometimes, the voice of the Spirit is gentle in our quiet hearts, in our pleading and privileged prayers or in between the lines of God’s Word—a personal revealing direction to go ahead or most of the time, to wait and to trust. There is a strength that comes from this silence. Trusting in Him has its own sound; it is a sigh, a release of anxiety, a movement of debris so we can sit comfortably under the Rock, shut the doors of the Fortress from the world’s thoughts and ideas minus a sovereign God.

Sometimes, silence is a lonely feeling. One can miss the noise of a loved one gone, or working from home instead of the office, or just when there are no words to justify a wrong action or deep hurt. But silence can bring a reflection, an insight we may not have heard in the world’s rumble and continued banter of perceived truth. Silence in itself is a gift, because it is just that--noticed. We can use our other senses to take in more—stand in awe at the sight of God’s beauty in Creation, appreciate more of the tangible gifts we use every day and blessed by, that we can touch and share with others-- a soft cheek of a toddler, the pie dough coming together in our palms, the ding of a notification from a friend who shares how your story led them to see… hear God in a new way. We can taste the satisfaction, the swallowing and digesting of God’s Holy Plan and most importantly, the fullness in submission, the surrender to that plan in trust. The air around us fills our lungs and we breathe and smell the difference between what is rotten and what is righteous.

Gifts in silence are not silent.

They are loud explosions of love in our hearts that God is Good and that He loves us in our loud messy days and in our quiet humble moments. In silence is where are strength is increased.

Psalm 62:5-6 "My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him. He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be shaken."

And isn’t it just like God to grant me grace upon amazing grace as I finish these last few words, that my stereo is now playing a classic Christmas song by Bing Crosby, “Silent Night.”

Gifts in silence are Holy.  Oh, Hear His Voice in the silence of your own soul my friends. It is a beautiful moment going into all of eternity. 

All is calm, all is bright.

Peace, Coleene

But God: An Intentional Love Story.

I stepped into the hospital chapel, alone. 

But God? A burden pushed from every side. It weighed so heavily within my spirit, yet my body barely functioned in its numb state. A thousand pounds might fall into my lap and I wouldn't have felt it. Only one exception, my lungs ached trying to breathe.

What language did I speak? 

I couldn't put words together in my mind, yet...I knew God interpreted my confusion, my desperate pleas, the anguish in every teardrop. My head hung in a sacred place where many had come before me in this same state, some knowing hope, some...maybe not. There remained nothing I could do, and everything I could do as I inhaled in pain and exhaled in promise.

I learn of my son, Tim's death.  He was so tired. 

Tears of surrender and anguish moved with the fluid prayers, both conscious and underlying. Time. Stop. Rewind, so I won't forget anything. Outside, his father and others paced, did their own petitioning. He heard the words first. I did not. My husband's eyes conveyed a sudden truth no one wanted to recognize.

Let this tsunami pull back, disintegrate, evaporate as if nothing broke the dam of reality. 

In that moment, no utterances surfaced, held under by the pieces of many shattered hearts. God, in all His glorious love and grace, never felt so real and so worthy of all my worship until that very moment.


Full Sail

Twelve years have passed and I am different. Different from that very second and transformed over time. All these collective moments both anchor me and set me free. Learning to find peace in both places,  the Lord God sets the course and I must trust Him.

Like the tides, faithful and true, covering up and pulling back to reveal treasures, the tide pools of tears and memory shells provide discovery and a deeper devotion...in both the wading...(the waiting) and the deep, my story.

I want to, I need to, I must voyage through Your perfect Will, Lord. 

You, Lord, in Your great love for me, For Timmy, are so intentional. As I write these thoughts, pour out my praise and prayers, I press in, buckle tight the grace gift life vest. It wraps around me in perfection and comfort and I see the generous deck hands You have provided to sail along with me. They, as well, are intentional, devoted, my own miracles.

I might have stayed under the heavy tarp of despair and grief..., the grommets of regret and isolation held fast to the what ifs, the should haves, BUT GOD...

I allowed, directed my self to feel His Spirit as all the deck hands prayed, continue to pray and honor our Creator and Giver of life. I billowed up, caught by the Wind and I began to sail through the waters only You charted for me, a personal, intentional course.

I dock in beautiful Ports of Calling and walk along shores where grace ripples so gently and so amazingly. Hope unpacks the grief and restores this vessel for myself, for others.  A certain horizon awaits me, the full sail Glory of the Lord in my own return Home but until then, I will speak of, serve and worship The Lord of Promise whose Love is intentional for every one of us.

Psalm 27: 13-14 
I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; yes, wait on the Lord. 


Let go, Let God
He is Lord
Grace is Amazing
Heaven is Real

Considerably Yours,
Coleene