Tuesday, March 29, 2011

A Fortunate Reversal (fictional fun)

Here's a little story I wrote for fun after reading about the Oxford English Dictionary's new additions. The highlighted words below are just a few of 2011's recognized bunch. 

A Fortunate Reversal

 “Steve here, Hi, wassup?” He quickly answered his cell phone while annoying people in the eating establishment around him.

“Yeah, I’m back in town since last Friday. I’m preparing my notes as we speak…Yeah, I’ll have something ready to look at by next week. Can you give me a two-column spread? Hey hang-on, I need to order my food. Yeah…I’m ordering off-the-menu. I’d like a four by four, grilled onions, and the fries, monster-style. Hey, let me call you back; my daughter’s calling."

He missed his daughter’s call and a few minutes later before he took a bite of his dripping cheeseburger, his daughter’s text message came across his buzzing cell phone screen.

OMG Dad, where R U? Mom says U R in La-La Land, LOL . I know you’ve been out of town working on a project. Mom’s hanging out with those WAG friends of hers, but she's still going to that Bible Study too. She's at the doctor now. U R my BFF Dad and I miss you so much  We both miss you. I U,  Cloie

He sidelines the burger and after wiping his fingers, picks up the cell to try and get his daughter again.

“Hi, Cloie…yeah, couldn’t answer…in the middle of some important food here at In-n-Out.”

“Aahhhh TMI Dad….Now I just got to have one! So, Dad, how was the “couch-surfing” experiment? You survived I see. When is your deadline for the story?"  his daughter asks.

“The first section should hit the paper in two weeks; but in the editor’s hands by Monday. I hope this  just wasn’t smack-talk by these guys. It’s been awhile since I’ve been in print. Learning to trust God in my work, I need to listen and discern even more in each new project.  I know He has something better for our family. I'm really  feeling good and I met such wonderful  people on this last trip; God affirmed so many things. Well, enough about me. I'm sorry hun.  What's new?  I missed you guys too."

“Well dad, Mom certainly would be happy-camper if…”

Dad interrupts. "Cloie, I’m going to call Mom now. Let’s see if we can all have dinner tonight at Pepe’s. Isn’t it “all you can eat” Taquito Tuesday?"

"FYI Dad, Today’s Wednesday. Can you get jet-lag from too much couch-surfing?  Mom hasn’t been feeling too well. I hope she agrees.  Bye Dad, see you tonight." 

Later that evening, after two weeks of doing research across the country on couch-surfing sponsor families and their patrons, Steve's  family is enjoying a reunion at Pepe’s, limit though on the taquitos.

The prodigal husband orders Margaritas for himself and his wife. His wife quickly declines.

“Steve, I hope this is the story that gets you a regular column, because I think I am going to need someone who does his research a lot more locally," Steve's wife, Charmaine, with a bit of mystery in her voice, states.

She smiles at her daughter before grabbing her husband’s hand and places it on her belly.

"This is not a muffin-top. This…is a baby bump”.

“Dad”, Cloie grins “Your writing just took on new inspiration!”

Steve quickly became a syndicated columnist after his award winning personal story of “American-life as Viewed by a Traveling Couch-Surfer” ran in six consecutive weekly features. The network news picked it up as well. Steve’s next column, titled “Reverse Vasectomy, A Mid-life Miracle", landed him a book deal. Steve made another family choice. He cut out the four by four’s and the monster fries along with Taquito Tuesday. His sacrifice was well worth the new blessings coming his way.  The End. 

For more info on what these "words" mean and/or how they're actually defined,  check out this link.  Before you ask, Yes, it is true...♥ is now a verb in the OED (Oxford English Dictionary).


I'd enjoy some feedback on this story.  If you are a frequent reader of my blog, you know I must include some scripture here; so be fair warned all you lovers of the English language and teachers out there.

1 Corinthians 14:9 (New International Version, ©2011)

9 So it is with you. Unless you speak intelligible words with your tongue, how will anyone know what you are saying? You will just be speaking into the air.

Hang Ten!


  1. Great, Coleene! I got the requisite chuckle. There were a couple "new" words in there that I must say I wasn't sure about, and it was a cute story that held them all together. Bravo!

  2. I think I've finally figured this posting thing out! I know where your inspiration came from for this one, Coleene! Really loved this!

  3. I too enjoyed the way you integrated all of these "new words" together. A very fun read, it made me real hungry though! All that good food!
    I bet I gained 10 ponds just reading this!